Fast flirting: say it, mean it, meet up
Fast flirting is what happens when two people who fancy each other stop dancing around it. It's quick, cheeky and honest, and it gets from "hey" to "your place or mine" without the weeks of polite chat that kill most online connections. Australians are good at it, because we've never had much patience for people who won't say what they mean.
Why slow flirting kills the mood
You've had the chat that goes nowhere. Two days of "how was your weekend" and "what do you do for work", each reply a little shorter than the last, until one of you just stops answering. Nobody did anything wrong. The spark simply went out while you were both being polite.
Flirting online works far better when it has some heat in it from the start. Not crude, not pushy, just clear that you're interested in more than their opinion on the weather. On Root Buddies that's easy, because everyone has joined for the same reason. You can be flirty from the first message without anyone being shocked.
Fast flirting without being a creep
Read their profile and use it. Pick out something they said and run with it. It shows you're interested in them, not just anyone.
Compliment something specific. "Great smile" is fine. "That photo at the beach has been distracting me all afternoon" is better.
Tease a little. Gentle teasing is the Aussie love language. Rib them about their footy team, their taste in music, the fact they said they're a good cook.
Match their energy. If they're sending short, cheeky replies, do the same. If they get suggestive, you can too. If they slow down, ease off.
Suggest a plan early. The whole point of fast flirting is to get to the meet. Once you're both clearly keen, say when and where. You'll find more on that in how to get from a chat to a night together.
Turning up the heat
Once the chat is flowing and you're both enjoying it, it's natural for it to get flirtier. Tell them what you liked about their photos. Tell them what you'd like to do when you meet, if you sense they'd like to hear it. "I keep thinking about how that dress would look on my bedroom floor" lands very differently with someone who's been flirting back for an hour than it does as an opener. Flirty chat can turn into sex chat quickly between two people who are keen, and that's half the fun.
The rule is simple: build it together. Push a little further only when they're right there with you, and never send anything explicit they haven't asked for. Consent applies to messages too, and the good flirts are the ones who make the other person feel wanted, not cornered.
Flirting when you meet in person
The chat gets you to the bar. What happens next is old-fashioned flirting, and the same rules apply. Hold eye contact a beat longer than usual. Sit close enough that your knees touch. Laugh at their jokes, but only the funny ones, and tease them about the rest. Pay attention to what they're saying instead of planning your next line, because nothing is more attractive than someone who's genuinely interested.
If the online banter was cheeky, pick it up where you left off. A callback to something they said in the chat is a lovely way to show you remembered, and it gets you both back into the mood in seconds.
When flirting turns into a plan
Flirty chat is a means to an end, and the end is meeting up. Plenty of members want something tonight, so if the conversation is red hot at nine o'clock, there's nothing wrong with "Want to grab a drink? I'm twenty minutes away." Others like to build it over a day or two so the anticipation does its work.
Either way, if you get on well in person, you may find you've got a regular thing worth keeping. If you're in the west, our page on finding a root in Perth might come in handy, and if you're new here, start with the app that skips the small talk.
Flirting questions
What is fast flirting?
Fast flirting is getting to the point when you're attracted to someone. Instead of days of polite small talk, you're playful, specific and clear that you're interested, and you suggest meeting once you're both keen. It works especially well on a hookup site, where everyone has already said they want something casual.
How do I flirt online without coming on too strong?
Start with something from their profile, give a specific compliment and keep it light and playful. Match their tone: if they get cheeky, you can too, and if they slow down, ease off. Never send anything explicit they haven't asked for. Good flirting makes the other person feel wanted, never pressured.
When should I suggest meeting up?
Sooner than you think. Once you've had a good back and forth and you're both clearly keen, suggest a drink with a day and a rough location. Chats that drag on for weeks tend to fizzle. A concrete plan keeps the energy going and shows you're serious about meeting.
Start something cheeky
Someone near you is waiting for a message with a bit of spark. Send it.